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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Even More Ramblings From A Comic Geek

It's nice to get off the subject of comic investing and just ramble about whatever comic related stuff that comes to mind. Don't get me wrong. It's a subject I love and am passionate about, but like everything, it can burn one out.

So I recently just paid for a CGC Premium Membership just in time to submit for the Big Wow Comic Fest coming up May 18th. I'll probably get the packet at the same time my Copper Age CGC submissions I submitted at Wizard World Sacramento comes back. Since they are mostly Copper Age and a higher grade is greatly needed for those comics, I'm pretty sure all four will be disappointing. A few curses may echo throughout my neighborhood for a good ten minutes shortly after I receive them, or I may be giving myself high fives. 

I dunno, and that's the thrill of it. Comics could come back better than you expected from CGC or worse. I still think it's upping the risk factor, but it's also good to mix things up as well every now and then.

So, I read a zombie comic from an indie title that I got a while back at the Toy Havoc and Comic Chaos show last year. The publishing company is called Action Lab and the title is The Final Plague. It wasn't bad. Artwork is pretty good, all done by paintings, but it didn't make me a zombie fan anymore than I'm already not.

I have the same gripe with zombie movies that I do with most Sci Fi stories or movies about aliens. Now, I'm not talking about Alien or Aliens, because those movies are just badass and take place on another planet.

I'm talking about movies that show aliens coming to Earth and doing a total assault. Independence Day comes to mind, so does Battleground Los Angeles. I always feel insulted watching these flicks, because it's just so unrealistic. Of course, it's unrealistic. It's Sci-Fi after all, but does the warfare aspect have to be as well.

For instance, if an alien race was able to send enough soldiers to do a full on attack on Earth, that pretty much means they are a highly more advanced life form than we are. The most stupid thing they can do is actually send ground forces first.

The fact that we are mucking around with biological weapons of mass destruction should be taken into consideration that these aliens also have virus weapons as well, right? Wouldn't it make much more sense for them to infect us with a deadly virus first before sending a massive ground assault?

I'm not talking about a virus that turns us into cannibalistic retards either. I'm talking about a virus that kills us in a matter of hours or days. Remember, an alien race that's more advanced. Killing as many of the indigenous people within an area is a military tactic that we humans also use, so it makes sense that an advanced alien race hell-bent on taking over Earth would have their own more advanced biological agents to terminate us with and do so as quickly as possible.

Then, of course, wouldn't the air assault come after that? While many of us are writhing in an agonizing death, wouldn't they be bombing the living crap out of us while those who've yet to be infected scramble around avoiding explosions and shrapnel while trying to find a cure to the virus?

Of course, not every human would be infected and there would be a resistance...a very small percentage...and that's when ground forces would basically come down to clean up the left overs. While aliens attacking Earth have the possibility of being really good stories, they always muck it up by letting the human ego ruin the plausibility.

First, aliens would most likely never start off with an air assault and ground forces simultaneously. They'd wipe most of us out first with their own biological technology, and then start hammering down on us.

And why do us humans always win? This is the most insulting part of these flicks for me. An alien race able to reach us through the vast galaxies of space means they are way more advanced then we are, and we outwit them only because the writer can't fathom any creature ever getting over on the human race. Super lame!

That's like Superman getting his ass kicked by a regular human in a brawl. It just wouldn't be realistic, like Superman is realistic to begin with, but we all buy into winning over technologically advanced aliens trying to eliminate us in the movies.

But it's just not just the writers' human egos that totally ruin these stories. It's all of ours. Let's face it, most people probably wouldn't even like an alien movie like the one I'd write, because we just couldn't stomach the plausibility of no longer being the highest predator on the food chain. 

We stomach movies about humans torturing other humans, or eating them, but another creature winning over our total dominance? Too much for our arrogance to handle. We'd have to win in the end or the movie would just suck.

But here's my thing: Us winning over the aliens in the end of movie makes no statement at all, except for us to continue being arrogant and petty. Sure, we'd align and unite and be buddies while we thwart off an alien invasion, but once we won against them, we'd go right back to trying to destroy ourselves for basically resources...or to obtain more resources than another. 

Which brings me to the point of most zombie flicks of the modern era. Dude, if a deadly virus got out that was bio-engineered for warfare, the likelihood of it turning us into human flesh eating rejects instead of a dead, non-animated carcass is about as likely as me gaining super powers. 

Like I said, nobody wants to send ground troops into an area where the population are mindless cannibals. I'm sure the government and the military who created that virus would rather have their enemy just plain dead before sending anyone in to mop up. 

Is there a chance that could happen? Sure, there's a chance I could someday have sex with Jamie Alexander too, but there's a higher probability that I could be eaten by a Great White shark, which is my #1 fear, before I'd get anywhere near Jamie Alexander.

Oh, yes, I'm one of those unfortunate souls who watched Jaws a little too young. Sure, the shark still looks fake, but knowing that there are creatures like that in the ocean just makes it ten times more terrifying. Yes, I know that there are viruses out there too, and they are very real as well. But, I don't really fear them turning me into some human, eating reject.

Besides, you can always run from a zombie. You cannot out-swim a Great White. Most times, you won't even see them coming before it's too late, and those bastards come out at you from below. Even if you do see them coming, it's not like you can do much about it if you're in water and they decide you're a sexy meal.

How I got from alien invasions to zombies to Jamie Alexander and Great White sharks is beyond me, but like the title says, it's a ramble.

I think most X-Men comic fans are fans of the comics because they're mostly outcasts who never really fit in. For whatever reason it may be, they may have just never been accepted by the so-called mainstream.

At least, that's why I identify with the characters. To be honest, I don't really fit in anywhere. Always the odd one, or the one most likely the target for stupidity in the form of a snide remark, and I'll admit, it usually has something to do with my race.

I won't get too much into that, but I have realized that there's a big difference in being bullied and being the bullied kid. Being bullied is just an every now and then kind of thing. Being the bullied kid is dealing with that mess every single day.

It's not just an occasional thing, it's part of your everyday life. I also notice that the people who usually say the "Ah, people need to stop being so sensitive" are usually the one's who have just been occasionally bullied or never bullied much at all.

The bullied kids, however, are the ones who have dealt with it for so long they just refuse to put up with that crap any longer, and I'll admit that most us can end up being quite hostile. It's how we learned to stand up for ourselves, to take it to the Punisher and Wolverine extreme. 

I use to always get in trouble for fighting right in class, and my dad would always ask me, "Why do you fight where you'll most likely to get caught? Are you stupid or something?"

I'd always tell him I do so because I wanted others to see it, and I wanted to let it be known to the others who thought about hassling me to think twice about it. Even if I didn't win. Even if I lost, I wanted to make sure they realized they were gonna walk away in some kind of pain. You don't take on a bully where no one can see it. You do it where everyone, especially his minions, can watch.

So whenever I read those X-Men comics, I understood exactly how the characters feel. I even understand Magneto's side of the argument, and for me, that's the brilliance of those X-Men comics. The X-Men comics is really just a long diatribe that asks the question of which side would you choose? That comic still strikes a chord with me even to this day, and though my reason for liking the X-Men or the Punisher or Wolverine may sound a little batty, just remember that every comic hero is basically a vigilante going out there taking matters into their own hands for a variety of batty reasons.

As for Amazing Spider-Man, that dude Peter Parker is pretty much  an outcast also. Hell, he got flack from everyone. Now, when comic fans argue about who is Spidey's #1 villain, the usual Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Hobgoblin, or whoever usually comes up. However, I think it's that twat J Jonah Jameson. 

That dude has more power to make Spidey look bad than any other villain. He's got the power of the media, and he doesn't dislike Spidey because the Web Head is foiling his grandiose, master-plot for power. He just hates Spidey for virtually no intelligent reason at all and tries to ruin our hero for the most simple-minded, petty of reasons.

Sure, J Jonah Jameson can't slug it out with Spidey or anything, but, damn, taking a hero's good deeds and turning him into more of a menace than the Lizard or Venom or Green Goblin takes some mad, villainous skill.  The worst part of that deal is that Spidey just can't go up to Jameson and lay the smack down on that fool, no matter how much we want him to.

It's pretty much the same thing with the X-Men as it is with Spider-Man! No matter how much good they do, they're always hated and feared. Spidey's got the death of Uncle Ben hanging over his head so I can see why the guilt keeps his hero on, but I still have no clue why the X-Men remain so.

After all, when Stan Lee was asked whether he'd be a super hero or super villain in real life, even he said he'd most likely be the latter. I know I wouldn't continue being a super hero if I were constantly shunned, hated and feared despite my good deeds. 

I'd be hitting up one bank after another, and Spidey would swing in and be like, "Drop the money bags, Dopey", and while battling the Web head, I'd say, "No way, I gotta get your first appearance in CGC 9.6! Could you sign some of my comics later on?"

Speaking of CGC, by everything that's unholy, where the hell are my CGC submissions?


  1. That was a freaking awesome post!! You deserve an ice cold beer for this one, on me. Cheers!

    1. Thanks, don't think too many others cared much for this post, but it was a well-needed brain fart! Cheers! Always love me some beer!